


Heart and soul, one will burn

by Loyal_To_Castiel



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Body Dysphoria, Injury Recovery, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Suicidal Thoughts, Temporary Amnesia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-20
Updated: 2018-08-23
Packaged: 2019-03-07 00:26:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13422819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loyal_To_Castiel/pseuds/Loyal_To_Castiel
Summary: After suffering in a car crash, Robb loses his memory. Although the doctors say that he will recover, he feels that everything is not as it seems, judging from his interactions with different people and his dreams. As he remembers more and more, the puzzle becomes more and more complicated because he's missing a huge piece.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The title and the song lyrics are from 'Heart and Soul' by Joy Division.
> 
> I do not own the characters, just this poor excuse of a story.
> 
> Hope you'll enjoy the ride because it won't be an easy one! VwV

Instincts that can still betray us,  
A journey that leads to the sun,  
Soulless and bent on destruction,  
A struggle between right and wrong  
\--------  
The room was bright. Too bright. The young man’s eyes flung open to view his location. It was all white and empty. The sterile cleanliness and the ‘doctor smell’ made him realize he was at a hospital. He felt an IV plugged into his left arm, hoping he wasn’t too drugged to function. It seemed like summer outside or at least late spring. It was so hot he felt a stream of sweat going down his forehead and he thought he heard some birds singing in the background from the beeping sound that imitated his heartbeat. It made his head pulsate and caused more confusion. The sun was trying it’s best to make him blind and the annoying heartbeat sound made his head pulsate. The brightness made his eyes hurt and the weird pain at his throat didn’t help to awake. To avoid the sun, trying to break in though the window, he turned his head to the side, making the pain drastically sharpen. 

Next to his bed was a wooden chair with a middle-aged woman sleeping on it. She looked really tired, like she had been awake for days and finally broke down. The clothes she wore looked smart – black pencil skirt with a white blouse, and over it - a lab coat. Her pale face was red and puffy around the eyes, makeup smudged. She unsuccessfully had tried to wash it off with regular water. Long, auburn hair had been braided in a braid maybe a few days ago but now it looked like mangled crow’s nest tied with a bow at the end. He thought she looked awful and pitiful, though there was something familiar about her. Maybe he had seen her on a subway or she’s one of his distant neighbors.

His headache seemed to get stronger with each breath he took. The process of breathing felt weird. The man was sure that he had some broken ribs that complicated the process. He couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong with his lungs. They felt different and somehow smaller? He decided that it must be the drugs and that he should try to go back to sleep. He tried to turn his head so he wouldn’t have to face the poor, exhausted woman, but any kind of movement felt like 50 knifes were stabbing him, twisting and turning. He moaned in pain as the wound kept pulsating and fired up under the bandage but he tried to keep quiet so the woman wouldn’t wake up. Although he didn’t know her, she looked like she really needed to rest. 

He must have let out a growl a little too loud because the woman’s eyes opened and she got up to a sitting position immediately. She looked at him with a hopeful look and signed with relief. 

“I’m sorry I woke you up. I didn’t mean to.” The man said with a scratchy, low voice. He was surprised by the sound and how hard it was to speak. It felt like polystyrene on sandpaper. The words didn’t roll from his tongue like they should have. He came to the conclusion that it had something to do with the pain and the bandage around his neck and him being at a hospital.

The woman laughed lightly and replied in a low, husky voice: “That’s ok. I was waiting for you to wake up. Are you feeling ok? Does it hurt much? The doctors are already giving you painkillers, but they said that still it can hurt.”

The man looked at the woman with a confused look. He couldn’t quite concentrate on her eyes but they seemed blue and watery.

“Waiting for me? I’m sorry but you must be confusing something. I’m quite sure this is the first time we’ve met.”He tried his best to look at the woman but the amount of pain and drugs make it extremely difficult. 

The woman looked at the ground and let out a relieved giggle: ” Ah yes, the doctors said that this would probably happen. Listen, dear, you suffered in a terrible accident and nearly died. The doctors got there in time and managed to save you. You’ll be alright but unfortunately you have lost your memory. You’re name is Robb Stark and I’m your mother – Catelyn Stark."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait. A lot of things have been happening in my life and I was just too lazy to finish the chapter till yesterday.  
> Hope you enjoy it regardless! ^-^

You take my place in the showdown,  
I'll observe with a pitiful eye,  
I'll humbly ask for forgiveness,  
A request well beyond you and I

\-----

He sat in the back seat of a quite used minivan. It was quite messy with children’s books and candy wrappers laying around on the floor. Next to him slept a preteen girl with long and healthily shiny auburn hair, tied in a high ponytail.

It was hot and the sky was so blue that the world itself looked blue – must be summer. In the front sat a middle aged man with dark hair. He was gripping the steering wheel so tight that you could see that his wedding ring was too big for his finger. Next to him in the passenger seat slept Catelyn. She looked younger and not as tired. Her red hair was in a loose ponytail, put over her shoulder.

“Dad? When will we be there?” a boyish voice spoke next to him. Robb turned his head to view the source of the voice. It was a pale boy with the same dark hair the man in the front had.

“Soon, Jon. About 2 kilometers left. We’re basically there.” The man replied. 

The boy looked stressed and laid back in his seat. He stated to stare out the window and said:

“I wonder if there will be some new kids…”

“Don’t worry you’ll find some friends this year!” Robb found himself saying in a high pitched voice and smiled with a comforting smile. Ah, he must be still a kid in this. Young and innocent with his life still ahead of him. 

“Easy for you to say. You have a lot of friends – even girls! Even some of your friends from school will be there.” Jon looked quite sad and like he was trying to hide his insecurities with anger.

Robb looked at him with a worried look:

“I’m sure this year everyone will notice how cool you really are!”

He tried his best to make Jon look less sad.

\------

The car stopped by a huge white house. Every corner was buzzing with kids from ages 7 to 15. They got out of the car and Robb inhaled the dusty air. He felt hyped and pleased for what the future holds.

Suddenly the boy heard his name being called so he turned to see who made the noise. He saw a tall and very skinny boy sitting on the stairs by the white brick house. The other boy had dark hair and eyes and a bit mischievous smile. The boy got up and walked straight to Robb not taking his eyes off him.

“You’ve made it. Finally!” The taller boy said in a scratchy lower voice.

“Wow! What happened to your voice? It wasn’t like that at the end of school.” Robb heard himself say.

The other boy smiled wider and raised his shoulders:

“I don’t know. I guess it’s gotten like this while I was in Harlaw.”

Robb started to fell this weird feeling in his stomach as the other boy smiled wider at him. It was like he had swallowed a bunch of bubbles and they started to float around, trying to get free. The other boy’s new voice was deeper and made Robb feel weird. The other boy was so grown up – he had grown a bit too and now has a head taller than Robb.

“Are you ok? Why are you so quiet?” The taller boy asked with a confused look.

“Your voice. It’s just so weird!” Robb was so confused about why he felt so weird about it.

“Eh, you’ll get used to it. Let go! O, we are in the same room again. Thank God!” The other boy started to walk towards the house.

Robb looked back at his parents and saw them talking to another parent, he assumed. Behind them was a huge sign which read “Riverland’s Children’s Summer Camp”.  
He felt his hand being grabbed and a force started pulling him away. Robb looked at the other boy as he was pulling Robb towards the white house.

“Come on! I’ll show you our room.”

His hand was so warm…

\-----

Robb opened his eyes and the warmness had left his hand. Was it a dream? Or a memory perhaps? It felt so innocent and light. 

He was brought back to reality by the sharp pain in his neck. It was like a hornet stung him in the same place every time he swallowed. 

The sun shone brightly as always, trying to break the glass of the window with its light. 

He heard a light knock on his door. The doors opened slightly and after a moment Catelyn stepped in. She looked much better. She had cleaned herself up and had fresh casual clothes on. Her hair was braided in a neat braid. Even with her visible bags under her eyes and the worry wrinkles- she was beautiful. Robb felt some kind of familial softness towards her. 

“Slept well? How are you feeling?” She said while taking the seat next to his bed.

“Fairly well considering I feel like my head had been ripped from my body,” Catelyn cringed a bit at the ripping part bet soon returned to her previous expression, “I actually had a dream…. Or possibly a memory”

“A memory? What was it about?” Catelyn looked excited and pleased, her wrinkles disappearing when she smiled.

“I was at a camp I think.” Robb tried to remember his dream.

“Oh dear, you went to a camp almost every year since you were a kid. But I’m really happy things are coming back to you. Now tell me the details!”

“I saw a small red headed girl and a dark haired boy and a man who drove a car. The camp was in the Riverlands I believe….” Robb didn't know how the explain it. He continued to stare at his hands for a while after finishing talking.

Catelyn expression turned from sweet to a bit worried but still sweet. She waited for a while for Robb to speak again but seeing how Robb was struggling a bit with it she replied:  
“I see. Sounds pretty good. Looks like you’re ready then.” She grabbed her bag and pulled a photo album out of it. 

The album was heavy and decorated with weird Christmas stickers. Catelyn opened and moved closer to Robb and showed him the first page. It was a man and a woman with a red screaming baby. 

“Do you recognize anyone?” Catelyn said with a soft smile, looking at the picture.

Robb took time to examine the picture. The woman was definitely a much younger Catelyn with the man from his dream. He assumed that the baby was probably himself, judging by the red locks on top of its head. 

“Yeah, you were quite the screamer. I remember Ned one evening coming out of your nursery after putting you to sleep, falling into bed and muttering in the blankets “what have we done?”

“Ned?” Robb assumed that was the man in the photo and therefore from his dream.

“Eddard Stark, but we call him Ned for short. He’s your father. He is paying for your treatment and can’t wait for you to regain strength so he can see you.”Catelyn explained and turned the page.

The next picture was of 4 kids. They all had the same red hair and blue eyes. All of them were hugging each other and had the same smile.  
Robb recognized himself. He looked like he was the oldest. He also recognized the girl from his dream. She was older here – a teenager now. The younger two boys he didn’t recognize but they looked familiar. They looked like him and Catelyn.

“Are those my brothers and sister?” 

“Yes. That’s Sansa, aww, she even has her long hair here – I miss that. And this is Bran and the little one is Rickon. This is quite a few years ago though. A lot of things have changed since then. Rickon looks so little. You do have another sister though. Her name is Arya. Let’s find a good picture of her real quick.” Catelyn seemed really happy and Robb was left to wonder how many years ago was it and what exactly has changed. He looked so happy at the pictures Catelyn flipped by searching for the right picture.

She suddenly stopped and showed him a big picture with a tomboyish girl with messy dark hair and an angry expression. She was by a lake in a boat with a huge fish in her hands.

“She looks angry in the picture but she actually was really proud of that fishing trip.” Catelyn half laughed.

Next to Arya was another girl – quite older and with black hair and eyes. She looked really familiar. She…reminded Robb of the dark haired boy from his dream?  
Intrigued by the older girl Robb asked: “ Who’s this?”

“Oh, that’s Arya’s……friend…Asha.” Catelyn hesitated a bit but didn’t break the pleased expression.

Robb wondered if Catelyn was uncomfortable of the relationship Arya had with her friend Asha or if she didn’t remember herself.

“Do you know who the dark haired boy from my dream might be?” Robb decided to ask the thing he wanted to know the most. He remembered not understanding what he felt but since waking up his adult mind had definitely understood what those feeling were. Robb was curious to know if the taller boy with the scratchy voice was perhaps his boyfriend or just a crush?

“Hmm yeah I think I know exactly who you’re talking about.” Catelyn lost her pleased look and with a disappointed look started to look through the album.

For some reason Robb’s heart started to beat faster and he could not wait to hear about the mystery boy who he apparently had a crush on. Was he still someone important in his life? Is that the reason why that was his first memory to come back? Or perhaps just a random memory?

“There. This is Jon Snow…” 

Robb looked at the man staring right at him from the photo where a red headed girl he didn’t recognize braided his hair with flowers.  
He ….was the other dark haired boy from his dream. Robb felt a bit disappointed.

“Is he my brother too?”Robb tried to hide his disappointment as best as he could. He was still curious about Jon but he wasn’t the taller boy from the camp.

“No…” Catelyn looked at the picture with an expression that couldn’t be described other than having no emotion.

This was weird. Robb looked at Catelyn:” ….but I remember him calling Ned ‘dad’…”

“Well he’s your half brother….When you’ll get better, Ned will probably tell you the details.”

“I see. Shall we continue with the album?” Robb could sense that Catelyn wasn’t happy to talk about this topic so he decided not to push it.

\---------

The days flew by and Robb got used to the pain in his neck. He tried to ask the doctors and Catelyn what happened to him but all he got was that he was involved in a car accident.

He didn’t remember much but Catelyn had told him quite a lot about who he is and what’s his life like, about his siblings and friends.

Robb spent his days in the hospital trying to regain his memories and learning as much as he could, but he could not figure anything about the taller boy from his dream.

All his clues were the dream about the camp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please forgive my grammar mistakes. English is not my first language and it's harder to spot mistakes in your own work.  
> I'll try to write the next chapater soon.

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter is a sort of an introduction so don't worry the other chapters will be normal length. ^-^


End file.
